her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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