i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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