he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Rumble strips road head = magical
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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