I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
