My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
