If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
