I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize