why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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