Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We left the knife in your bed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
