woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
