I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
