I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
