Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
