I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
