so explain again why im purple
no
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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