This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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