help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
