He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
