We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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