He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drunk is not a location!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
