oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
