How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
