we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i would punch a child for taco bell
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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