I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
