it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
