she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
