And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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