I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
