can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
