Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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