I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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