If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
