Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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