Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
