Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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