you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
