My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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