i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
