Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
