im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am mentally ready for anal.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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