So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
