You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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