Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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