So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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