Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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