it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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