How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
