I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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