Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
