Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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