We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My vagina is officially offended.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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