i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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