Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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