I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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