youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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